Detroit Gospel.com Sharing Detroit's Gospel Scene With The World...

Pastor Eric is pastor of Tree of Life Bible Fellowship Church in Southfield, Michigan and a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary. For more info on Pastor Eric or Tree of Life, click here to go to Pastor Eric's bio. E-mail Pastor Eric with your questions at:

Current/Past Topics Drifting Away? The Santa Question Why Is It So Hard? Praise Is What I Do? A Sacrificing Wife Hurricane Katrina Church at the Beach? Saturday and the Sabbath Hating Christians Married Sex Good Luck? Try Try Again Come Back To Christ Iraq: A Biblical Perspective

Dear Pastor Eric,

What I am writing about concerns Christmas and the teachings of Santa Claus. My husband and I just got married in June 2006 (I'm 26 and he is 28), and we do not have any children yet. However, we have been discussing several things regarding raising children; what to teach them, etc. One thing that I struggle with is the teaching of a Santa Claus. Now, my parents never taught me anything specifically about Santa Claus, whatever we learned was just by watching TV or hearing it from other kids, but we didn't grow up with someone telling us about Santa Claus all year. The challenge that I and my husband face (when we have children) is what do you tell them about Santa. It's like you don't want to rob them of being children, nor ruining Christmas for another child that may believe in a Santa Claus. But at the same time, I want my children to know the real meaning of Christmas and that Santa Claus is just another part of the puzzle that we have added. I want to teach the the birth of Jesus, the 3 wise men, the giving of gifts. I want them to see a "Charlie Brown Christmas"--where they actually teach the real story of Jesus Christ and all. Can you give me some advice? Is it wrong to not let a child explore their own options like that, or what?

Thanks!
Jamilla Thomas

Hello Jamilla,

This is an excellent question.

First, let me say that you are doing the right thing by trying to determine what to do before it happens. Many Christian parents wait until the child’s first Christmas and end up arguing over whether to bring Santa into the celebration or not.

This is a family decision. You and your husband should pray about whether this is right for you and your family. Good and sincere Christians are divided about telling their children whether Santa exists or not.

Here are some things to consider as you prayerfully make your decision.

Until your child is two or three he/she couldn’t care less about Santa. So don’t bring Santa into the picture.

By the time your kid goes to elementary school, there will be “bad” kids that will make it their job to tell others that there is not a Santa. So don’t worry about your kids spoiling it for others. That will probably be the least of your concerns.

So you are really only concerned about the toddler years. During these years your child will see Santa on television. He will see him on decorations. She will see him as blow ups on people’s lawns. Your child will definitely notice Santa.

Eventually, he will ask you about him. It is at this time that you have the choice of telling your child that Santa is real. Or you can tell him that Santa is no different than the Tooth Fairy, Cupid, the Great Pumpkin or the Easter Bunny. He is make-believe.

Personally, I believe that we should tell our kids the truth, but in a fun way. Why not tell your kid that Santa is a fairy tale that people made up to make Christmas fun for kids? Tell her that we use Santa as a way to give gifts to people without people knowing who the gift came from. Also it is a way to give gifts without expecting anything in return. Finally, tell him we give gifts, because God gave His most precious gift to us, Jesus Christ.

Watch your child’s face light up when Santa gives dad a gift. She’ll get a kick out of the fact that only you and she know that you’re really Santa.

Pastor Eric

Dear pastor Eric:

I hope you can answer my question. Why is it so hard for a warrior like myself to minister to the world or churches through music? God gave me this gift to minister through music. I just came back to Him. I was on the edge of Death until my Father reached out His hand and saved me. He pulled me on His side.

He told me my purpose was to minister through music, but the problem is this: Because I have no one to help me and because I am a nobody in this god-awful industry, I am having a hard time doing my job for God. No, I don't want a record deal, ...I just need someone to believe in God's message through my music. Please fell free to go to my website www.bevsjourney.com.

Thank You and May God Bless,
Beverly

Dear Beverly,

Since I am not familiar with the music industry or the struggle of a singer, I asked my worship leaders to respond to your inquiry. I pray that this helps you as God opens doors for you to worship and serve Him. -- Pastor Eric

"First, Beverly, be encouraged on your decision to allow God to have control of your life again. It is a blessing that you are listening to His call on your life. If you believe that your purpose is to minister through music, there are many ways to fulfill this ministry. You don’t have to be in the industry to exercise your gift. Are you involved with a local church? Have you thought about visiting nursing homes? Can you work with a community-based group of similar people? There are many other ways to use your gift of music. Spend some time in prayer and ask for God’s guidance and direction. If God wants you to become involved in the industry, be patient and trust that He will make it clear to you and direct your path. Prepare yourself in the meantime by learning all you can about the industry and perfecting your gift. It may not be quick and it won’t be easy, but remember that you can do all things through Christ and be sure that He gets the glory in everything you do."

Sid & Joyce

Dear pastor Eric:

I had a question concerning the word Praise. My question is, “Can the word praise be used as being positive or saying something positive?” Can this be said in the church?

The scripture in which I see this is in the 34 chapter of Psalms, verse one. It states, “Bless the Lord at all times; His praise should continually be in my mouth.” To me this means that we must praise God 24/7 and we [who are] praising God should not have a negative spirit. Am I wrong or right?

Signed,
BMV

Dear BMV,

Thanks for the question.

Webster’s dictionary defines praise as, “To commend the worth of; express admiration of.” The Hebrew root of the word praise means “To boast.” In general, the term means to audibly say something of worth about someone or something.

In Psalm 34, the author (David) is expressing his desire to praise the Lord continually. David states in verse 1, that his praise will be “in his mouth” or “on his lips” (depending upon the translation). This can be done through song or through making a statement which expresses the “Worth of God.”

In verse 2, David says, let the afflicted “HEAR” and rejoice. So the afflicted will hear the blessing, the praise and the boasting of David (verses 1-2) and join in the rejoicing. So the context implies that David is referring to vocal praise.

These verses can be summarized by 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

A Christian should not have a critical spirit, but a spirit of thanksgiving which continually expresses itself in praise to God. This does not mean that we continually talk 24/7 about God’s goodness. But it does mean that we continually talk about God’s goodness.

Continuously praising God is like having the hiccups. We repeatedly and regularly express our gratefulness to God in all circumstances. In good times and bad times, we find a reason to praise God. The more that we practice praising God, the less of a negative spirit we will have.

This applies to believers’ relationship with others in the Body of Christ. We are told by the Apostle Paul to build up one another. Ephesians 4:29 states “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Our challenge as believers is to continually Praise God and Build up one another. This can’t be done with a negative spirit.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Eric

Dear pastor Eric:

My husband has not been to church  in many years. He says there is nothing that any pastor can teach him because he knows the bible front to back. He says that he can teach them some things. 

I told him that he cannot worship the Lord at home all the time.  If he has that much knowledge he should be willing to share it.  I have asked him for several years to come to church with me and he refuses. He is a Seventh Day Adventist and I am Baptist  please give me advice.

Signed,
Detroit, MI

Dear Detroit,

Without knowing your specific situation, let me give you some general advice.

First, I suggest that you stop asking him to attend church with you. Your husband will need to feel it is his decision to begin attending church again. So give the situation to the Lord.

Second, let him know that if he ever decides to attend church again, that you will accompany him to his church. This of course will take some sacrifice on your part since you are not a Seventh Day Adventist. You will need to adjust to attending church on Saturday rather than Sunday. However, you have to ask yourself, what is more important, worshiping on Sunday or worshiping with your husband. I believe the latter is more important.

Third, begin to model a Christ like life before him. In 1 Peter 3:1-6, Peter says,

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

Finally, begin to enjoy your life in the Lord. Be the best wife you can be to your husband, but fully enjoy your life with the Lord. You need to realize that God may never change your husband’s heart and mind. If God doesn’t change him, that is no reason for you to be miserable.

However, if you begin to model contentment and a Christ like life before your husband, God will use you greatly in your husband’s life. Without another word to your spouse, you may find him asking you to attend church with him.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Eric

Dear Pastor Eric:

I heard that Hurricane Katrina was a judgment of God against the sinfulness of the city of New Orleans. Do you think this is true?

J.T.

Dear JT,

I have heard some of my more prophetic colleagues say that this is the case. They tend to site the biblical account of the Sodom and Gomorrah to justify their view. However, I am not so sure that we can say that God was definitely pouring out His judgment on the city of New Orleans for their sin. It is true that New Orleans was known as a Party City. But, there were committed believers in Jesus Christ who lived in the New Orleans area as well. In addition, it was not just New Orleans that was affected by Katrina. Lower Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and even Florida were touched by Katrina’s power.

The Katrina disaster in New Orleans may be due more to the arrogance of man, than the judgment of God. I remember the first time that I went to New Orleans in the late 1980’s. I wondered, “How can anyone truly feel safe in areas of a city that are under sea level and only protected by ancient pumps and a levee system?” People trusted in their government officials and were convinced that they were safe.

If there is a judgment component to Katrina, I tend to align with Jesus’ reply in Luke 13. In Luke 13, some people told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood had been mingled with sacrifices. They were implying that they were worse sinners than other Galileans. Jesus responded in verses 2 & 3 by stating, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

Jesus was stating that the tragedy was a wake up call for all of Galilee. They all needed to repent.

If Katrina is a judgment from God, it is for the entire country, not just New Orleans. We have taken God out of the public square and replaced Him with political correctness. We have embraced homosexuality and labeled it an alternative lifestyle. We have made abortion just another form of birth control. If New Orleans was a sinful city, it was only a microcosm of our country as a whole.

So what should be the Christian response to the tragedy? We should be the first to meet the needs of those in need. We should examine our own lives to make sure we are living in Christ likeness. We should do what we can to make our community, city, state and nation reflect the Christian values and morals we believe in. And most of all, we should not pass judgment on the city of New Orleans. Instead of pointing fingers, we should be the first to lend a hand.

Pastor Eric

Dear Pastor Eric,
I have heard it said that a person does not need to come to a formal church service to worship God. Is this true? Can a person go to the beach and worship God rather than coming to church?

- DG.com Visitor

Dear DG.com Visitor,
That is a good question. That type of comment comes up quite often during these warm months in Michigan. The statement sounds like this; “Who wants to be inside when I can go to the beach, golf course or camp ground and worship God in the great outdoors?”

It is true that a believer in Jesus Christ can worship God anywhere. Every believer should have personal worship experiences with God on a regular or daily basis. Going to a private place of beauty and tranquility helps us to focus on the majesty of God.

However, personal worship does not substitute for corporate worship. To enter into a full worship experience of God, we need both personal and corporate worship. In Hebrews 10:24-25, God tells us not to forsake meeting together because this is the way in which God has chosen to encourage us in our walk with Him.

To substitute personal worship for corporate worship is to eliminate the method by which God has chosen to encourage us. That is why so many people who stop attending church find themselves in a backslidden state.

However, to substitute corporate worship for personal worship makes us simply “church goers” who have no power in our lives. We get happy on Sunday, but have no power Monday through Saturday.

The key to spiritual maturity is to have both forms of worship. So this summer, when you are told, “I can worship on the golf course”, respond by saying; “Please do! However, why don’t you worship with us as well?”

Pastor Eric

Dear Pastor Eric,
I would like to know, why are these churches worshipping on Sunday when the Sabbath is the 7th day of the week and that's one of the commandnents? God did not change that and how can people be saved if they are not keeping the commandments?

-Detroitdane

Hello Detroitdane,
That is an excellent question.

To begin, we need to start with the question of, “How is one saved?” A person is saved by placing his or her faith in the Person and finished work of Jesus Christ. We are not saved by our own works; Ephesians 2:8-9. So “keeping” the 10 commandments doesn’t save us.

The Ten Commandments were given to the nation of Israel to keep. They were to live “under the Law”. As New Testament believers, we are not under the Law, but under Grace. For us, the Ten Commandments are a guideline of how we should live. They are not (or ever have been) the determining factor of our eternal destiny.

With that said, the principle or guideline of keeping the Sabbath is to have one day of rest per week. One day per week where we worship God and cease from our labor. Prior to the birth of the church, the Jews rested from Friday evening to Saturday evening based upon Creation.

With the birth of the church (Pentecost), a portion of the early church began to worship on Sunday in order to align itself with the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Other Christians (of Jewish decent) continued to worship on the Sabbath. Both existed in the early church. Over the years as the gentile population of the church grew, the predominant day of worship became Sunday.

As Christians, we are free to worship on Saturday or Sunday. We can worship Saturday based upon Creation or we can worship Sunday, based upon the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Neither day saves or sanctifies us. God honors the one who sets a day per week aside for Him. The Apostle Paul gives us the view that we as Christians should hold with regard to this issue.

“Therefore no one is to act as your judge in regard to food or drink or in respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day-- things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ;” Colossians 2:16-17.

I hope this helps you.

Pastor Eric

Dear Pastor Eric,
I was wondering if it is possible for a Christian to hate some one if they have a really really good reason to? And also I was wondering how do you know when you have forgiven some one for sure?

- Visitor from Detroit, Michigan

Dear Visitor from Detroit,
That is a great question. Yes, it is possible for a Christian to hate someone. However, it is not the right or proper thing for a Christian to do.

Let me explain. Often our normal and proper reaction to a wrong committed against us is anger. However, if we allow anger to reside in us, it will eventually turn into hate. Anger is a legitimate response to a wrong committed. Hate is an improper response to anger not being resolved. This is why God says in Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” If anger is allowed to remain, hatred will begin to take root and the devil will have a foothold into our lives. So not hating is to our benefit. Hatred is a poison that ruins our soul.

So how do you get rid of it? Not by trying harder. We get rid of it by telling God that we do not have the power in our own strength to remove it. Actually, we may not want to remove it, but we know that this is what God wants. We tell God that our desire is to have Him remove it and we trust that He will. If we genuinely trust Him to do this, we will begin to see day-by-day, the hatred begin to subside. Actually, we may begin to feel pity or even the love of God towards the person we once hated. Asking God to replace our hate with His love is a wonderful place to start.

How do you know if you have truly forgiven that person? True forgiveness does not mean that the relationship is restored to where it once was. There is no guarantee that the relationship will ever be restored. True forgiveness is when you no longer hold a grudge against the person for what he or she has done. Forgiveness means forgiving the specific action or actions that a person or persons have committed in the past. This is an act of your will, not your emotions.

You may truly forgive someone, but it will take a while for your emotions to catch up with your will. Be patient. Your will is the engine that runs the train. Your emotions are the caboose that will follow.

Pay attention now! This does not mean that you put yourself or a loved one back into harm’s way. For example, if someone has raped you, you don’t go back out on a date with him (or her). That is not forgiveness. That is stupidity.

With forgiveness comes wisdom. Wisdom may mean not allowing yourself to be put into a potentially dangerous situation until the other party has had the proper counseling or help.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Eric

Q: Dear Pastor Eric,
First I wanna say GOD bless you brotha for taking time out to answer questions for people like me…Now to my question, I would like to know when you are married is it ok if the man and wife could sexually do whatever they want or if there are some things that are not acceptable? And if possible, could you please offer scriptural references for your answer. Thank you! May GOD continuously bless you as you keep HIM on your mind. Stay encouraged and be BLESSED~!!!

- Visitor from Detroit, Michigan

Dear Visitor from Detroit,
First, I want to thank you for the question.

Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

As long as the marriage bed is shared “only” between the married couple, then that couple is free to do just about anything that they want (within reason). So the question is, “What is within reason?”

Marriage is an act of commitment between a man and a woman. Marriage is a covenant before God and witnesses that these two individuals will love another and commit to one another for life. Part of the goal of marriage is to help one another mature into the image of Jesus Christ, to become all that God wants them to become and to enjoy one another.

Sex is the physical representation of that love, commitment and healthy desire to please the other person. If the sex act is degrading, humiliating or shameful, then it is not in line with the purpose of marriage. If a 3rd party is brought into the marriage bed, by means of adultery, video, magazines or internet, then it is no longer representing God’s purpose for marriage and is wrong.

With that said, there is plenty of room for fun, romance, surprise, and excitement in marriage. However, it should always be exclusively with your marriage partner. It should always be with your spouse’s willing and mutual consent. And it should never cause degradation, humiliation, or shame to your spouse.

Pastor Eric

Q: Dear Pastor Eric,
I am looking for some direction. Is there such a thing as good luck? Or is everything that happens to us in God's will? I have heard people say things like "I am waiting on my big break, or a little luck to come my way". Gospel artists are working hard everyday to make it BIG but it seems like only a few become successful. Is this God's will or do we just continue the struggle in hopes of making it BIG one day?

Visitor from Detroit, Michigan

Dear Visitor from Detroit,
That is a great question. I believe there is great truth in the statement, “It seems like the harder I work, the luckier I get.” Even in the secular world it is well documented that those who work diligently towards a goal, are much more successful than those who are “just waiting” or hoping for their Big break.

When it comes to working for the Lord, the same is true. However, success is not measured in the same way that the world measures success. As a Christian artist, business person, minister, etc., success is measured as faithfulness to God’s call on your life.

A great example of this truth is found in Hebrews 11. Throughout the chapter, the writer continues to point out “success” stories of the Old Testament. He talks about Noah, Abraham, Moses and others. They all accomplished great things on this earth for God.

However, in verses 35b through 39a, he states something different.

“Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated-- the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.
These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.”

These individuals were faithful to God, yet they did not achieve great fame from the world. God even commends these warriors for their faith. The writer states that “The world was not worthy of them.”

God has a divine plan for each of our lives. His desire is for us to fulfill it in our lifetime. Whether the outcome of that plan is success by the world’s standard, is a mystery only known by Him.

So follow God’s plan, work hard to achieve it and accept the outcome. Remember whether you’re recognized by the world (or not) isn’t really that important. What’s important is that you are commended by God.

Pastor Eric

Q: Dear Pastor Eric,
Is it ok to say that if you have tried something more than once, and didn't succeed the way you felt, that the spirit may be telling you to move on. I want to attend law school and I have taken the LSAT 2 times and I was really confident the last time, but my score was 1 point lower. There is no specific score I have to have, but I wanted to have a high score to improve my chances of getting into the law school of my choice. Sometimes I feel like the Holy Spirit is telling me to focus there, then things like this happen.
Visitor from Oak Park, Michigan

Dear Visitor from Oak Park,
The Lord has a great plan regarding His purpose for your life. In Jeremiah 29:11-14, God tells the nation of Judah that He has a great plan for them. However, they will need to call, come, pray & seek Him with all their heart. The key to determining God’s plan for your life is to seek Him with “all” of your heart.

Seeking God with all your heart does not mean figuring out what you would like to do with your life. Nor does it mean figuring out what you want to do for God. It means persistently asking and seeking God with regards to what He wants to do through you.

At times this can be scary because we imagine that God will radically alter the plans that we had for our life. Sometimes this is true. Other times, the plans that we had were God’s plans all along.

God wants us to truthfully answer this question, “Are we willing to submit to His plan for our life no matter what that plan entails?” If the answer is yes, then He will begin to unfold His plan to us. If the answer is no, then He will not.

Does this mean that His plan will be easy? No. It actually may be more difficult than the plan we originally had for ourselves. So, the answer to your question is this. If you have submitted yourself to do His will and you are convinced that Law School is it, then view the poor LSAT scores as an obstacle that is trying to keep you from accomplishing the goal He has for you. If you have not submitted yourself & life to His purpose, then it may be Him saying to stop and seek Him regarding His plan.

Pastor Eric

Q: Dear Pastor Eric,
I would like to know how to help a friend come back to Christ. She still believes in God but she has strayed away. I have prayed for her and talked to her. Can you please help with a little more information on how to help her?
B.H. from Melvindale, MI

Dear B.H. from Melvindale,
A major aspect of helping your friend come back to Christ is determining the real reason that she left Him. If you can determine this, you can begin the process of helping her work through the issue. It may take months for your friend to open up and tell you the real reason for her departure.

One thing you may want to determine is, “Has she turned her back on Christ or a particular church?” Often people become disillusioned with a certain church’s views, church policy or church doctrine. If it turns out to be the church, suggest that she visit other churches. You may want to visit with her until she finds a church that she likes.

If you determine that she has actually turned her back on the Lord, it is usually because of disappointment or sin. In either case, a patient, concerned and prayerful friend can help her through her present state. Your prayers and friendship without participating in her self pity or sin is the best prescription for what ails your friend.

Pastor Eric

Q: Dear Pastor Eric,
Does the bible have anything to say about what is going on in Iraq?
Reader from Redford, MI

Dear Reader from Redford,
The bible doesn’t say anything specific regarding the invasion of the United States into modern day Iraq. However, it does have something to say concerning the significance of Iraq.

Ancient Babylon is located within the boundaries of modern day Iraq. The bible states that ancient Babylon will one day arise and have a significant place in world history. It is destined to be a major political and economic world power.

Saddam Hussein understood the significance of ancient Babylon and was obsessed with restoring Babylon to its ancient day prominence. He wanted to restore Babylon through military might. However, he lacked the political savvy to make it happen.

It is possible that Saddam may accomplish his goal through defeat rather than through victory.

The invasion by the United States into Iraq may be the beginning of the rebuilding of ancient Babylon. Iraq is now on the world’s center stage. The United States, the United Nations and the world want a hand in rebuilding Iraq. It is possible that through this process Iraq will rise to become the civilized world power that the Apostle John speaks about in Revelation 18. Stay tuned.

Pastor Eric